Friday, September 14, 2007

How to Reduce Crime Figures in Hammersmith

Sam Mc Alister was distracted whilst getting a coffee in Starbucks. She then discovered that her bag had been taken off the back of her pushchair. The 34 year old ran out of the cafe and challenged the woman that had accompanied the man who had pushed in front of her, thus taking her attention away from her bag. After a struggle, she managed to recover her bag which contained her purse, house keys and other essentials.

Ms McAlister went with a PCSO to the police station to report the crime. The shock that she already felt was multiplied when the desk officer told her that no crime had been committed since she got the bag back!

Fortunately Ms McAlister is a former criminal barrister and explained the law, which doesn't actually require several years at University and being called to the Bar to appreciate, i.e. if someone deliberately takes your bag away from you in a cafe, Starbucks or not, a crime has quite definitely been committed. An hour later, the officer made the concession that it was attempted theft.

I can only imagine that the ever-increasing bureaucracy that the police face, drove the officer to make this clearly erroneous decision. Either that or she is a close relative of Jacqui Smith, the new Home Secretary.


Anonymous said...

Fair play to Sam McAlister, but if this had been a vulnerable elderly lady? It doesn't take Rumpole to realise a crime was committed here.

PCSOs are basically plastic cops, but with many fine exceptions. I have seen gangs of yobs intimidating people whilst PCSOs basically trundle by thinking its too much hassle to get involved.

I was against PCSOs being introduced in the first place by Labour, why can't we just have real police constables doing a proper beat, nicking scumbags and keeping the peace? Labour doesn't understand policing. All it understands is targets, bureaucracy, and its perverse interpretation of 'human rights'.

Sutton isn't exactly Gotham City in terms of crime but my wife and I are noticing the prevalence of hoodlums treating the streets as their own. Isn't this why we have a police service?

Everyone was lauding this plastic Home Sec Jacqui Smith after the attempted bombings in Glasgow. But why? For standing in front of a camera and looking serious?

Anonymous said...

said thief would have got a good smack in the chops from me! Pcso would have been surplus to requirements

then again I'd probably have got nicked for it.


Anonymous said...

There's only one way to cut crime in Hammersmith and Fulham. Send Philippa Stroud back there! After all she is a "compassionate" Tory who has the interests of asylum seekers, refugees and criminals at heart.

Are you listening Mr Duncan-Smith?

Anonymous said...

No I think he is. I doubt he spends his time listening to political nobodies.

Anonymous said...

Chortle! Iain Duncan-Smith IS a nobody!

Remember the quiet man who turned up the volume? I'm still straining to hear him. Shame Ms Stroud is singing from the same hymn sheet. I thought the Tories had a candidate to beat Burstow, but no chance whatsoever.

Anonymous said...

Stroud will trounce Burstow & he knows it

i think david pickles will eat those words when he has no council seat after the next election (as it is obviously him posting here)

talk about nobodies


Anonymous said...

It is always a given thing in politics that the sitting encumbent has to lose a seat, rather than a challenger win it. Although I think Burstow has been utterly useless in that he is good at talking, but hopeless at sticking up for the residents of Sutton, Philippa Stroud has a big job to depose him. He has given people the impression of being a hard-working consumate MP, and as such will take some shifting. Only a radical policy, and radical pronouncements will give anybody hope for change. Sadly, neither the Tories or Philippa are prepared to offer that. Therefore I agree with "Walter Wallcarpets" that she has no chance whatsoever. What this has to do with a sitting councillor baffles me as we are talking about a general, not a local election, but if tantric cheese is immature enough (get it?) to post comments in that way then good luck to him/her.